Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Celebrity Penis War: Pete Wentz vs Daniel Radcliffe...winner Wentz

In the grand scheme of things what's more important? Living a good life and then dying knowing you've made a difference at an old age; OR, having random sex with as many people as will let you and dying a young age from STD's? I think my point is made.

For about 8 hours a day I search the Intraweb looking for mindless self indulging content in order to take my mind off the burning sensation emanating from my groin. I search dozens of sites a day who post what they find. I find these sites and tell no one. This has changed. Today is a new day in the life of AXB. Today I join the huddled masses, yearning to assimilate.

Regurgitation of the Acidic Variety

The Entire Nirvana -Incesticide Album

The Rasmus -Dead Letters..the Best band you've never heard

Fall Out Boy - Leaked In London EP

Rolling Stone, Blender, and Spin for $30

About 4 months late, but Storm Large Naked as the day she was born...plus shorts

The BEST site for Celebrity Wallpapers, the only one I use

Want cool shirts but too lazy to look all over?

The BEST Batman film out there, but you've never watched it

The 2nd Best Batman film ever made...you also have never watched it

Entire Antonella Barba nude photo archive

MOST of the Antonella Barba nude photo archive is Fake...allegedly

And Finally...Harry Potter's Scrotum Click the Image for NSFW

And Now Pete Wentz's Scrotum Click the Image for NSFW

Look for AXB Enterprises Merch available soon. I WILL be giving some away to lucky readers.

Monday, February 26, 2007

It's Not The Burning That Gets Ya...It's The Itching

Funny thing about drugs is...they're addictive. Who knew? Do a little blow, maybe have anal sex with and then choke a 14 year old hooker to death in an alley for something to do. All really harmless fun, unless the hooker is your cousin. Which she was.

Oscars were last night. Unlike many generic blogs out there I chose not to Live Blog. While I thought of doing it, I could not because I didn't watch the Oscars. I did not watch because I was stuck in the bathroom all evening wiping blood from around my anus after my lastest hemorrhoid burst. Now this is not an unusual occurrence for a Sunday evening, but as I lay there in pain covered in my own blood and tears I thought to myself. I said; "AXB? Why haven't we watched The Departed as of yet?" I kindly told myself to "Shut your hole and keep wiping." I wasn't to be bothered you see. I has halfway through an article on Puff Daddy from 5 years ago I stole out of my neighbors trash.

The Departed did in fact all but sweep last night. I say "all but" because they only actually won like 4 awards, it just sounds cooler the first way I said it. The entire event went off without a boob falling out of anyone's dress, so I didn't miss anything really. I DID however afterwards look up all the female winners and see if they'd ever done nude scenes. THANKFULLY Helen Mirron, the 61 Year Old who won for The Queen has done a myriad of scenes over the years. I found this out thanks to Celebrity Movie Archive and looked at every single scene. I also found out thanks to Celebrity Sleuth that at last count her measurements were 38C-26-37. Love me some breasts, but only the extremely old, or extremely young varieties. If you too would like to gaze upon some big nippled action click the censored photo.

Obviously NSFW

Friday, February 23, 2007

Why does it burn when I get an Erection? Sin...sin is the correct answer

As I sit at home watching Cam girl after Cam Girl pretend to be shy and masturbate in front of a high quality webcam in a aesthetically pleasing room I wonder to myself. Does it get better than this? I also wonder what the FUCK is wrong with Liz Vicious' male counterparts penis. Why is it always trying to curve into itself. I also wonder what is up with Kate of Katesplayground's hoof. I ALSO wonder why it is so damn hard to obtain video of Katie from Katies-World online. These are all valid questions I do believe.

I have seen and heard a lot of things on the internet. I've seen a woman take a horse load to the back of the throat, and I've heard hundreds of shitty songs by shitty bands. While you could care less about the shitty bands, I DO have access to a few fairly well known bands and their newest singles. As I turn on my latest series from "My Sister's Hot Friends" I share with you these new singles. Enjoy them by listening online, but do not by any means download them onto your computer, for that would be illegal. Sinner...

Rock Star Supernova -Be Yourself and 5 Other Cliches

Static X - Destroyer

Korn feat Amy Lee - Freak on a Leash Unplugged

My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words

I found a pager today. I think I'm going to carry it around and use it as a way to pick up underage girls at Junior Highs across the county.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Underage Nudity gets the blood flowing every time

I wish the Internet were as prevalant when I was a teenager as it is now. It seems every lucious little hard body cheerleader takes nude photos of themselves with a digital camera only to post them to a supposobly secure hosting website. Not so my little puffy nippled vixens. Here is a HUGE list of Open Directories, many of which include partial or full frontal nudity that I can only assume is all of legal age. There is no way I can check for this information, so I go with my gut. It makes me sad I can't find my favorite one anymore. Her Myspace and Photobucket have both been pulled...she was even legal by proof. I seen it!

This little morsel is naked not 5 pictures away from this one. Try and find it, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.