Monday, December 29, 2008

Lesbian. Vampire. Killers. Really? Sign my ass up!


Here is someone who knows how to title a film. The sequal? Ninja Pirate Rapers? Mutant Teen Nudity? Barbarian Lion Gladiators? Epic Robot Nubians? Elephant Knife Fight??? All good suggestions. Want the synopsis just for MORE incentive?

"Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural Welsh town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice."

Ding Tao: The Legend of Chun Li trailer

We finally get a peek at the new Street Fighter film and it's in Japanese/Chinese/Klingon. All of which we do not speak here. Either way it's nice to see that V from V for Vendetta is getting work as Vega...for Vendetta.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Slusho! Slusho! Everywhere! (But, not a drop to drink)

While the face is recognizable ... The "Drink" is known only to die-hard Abrams fans.

Slusho! has been around since its first appearance on an episode of Alias in 2004 and is still growing in popularity!

A second siting of the frozen soft drink was seen during the trailer of Abrams' "mystery movie", worn by the brother of the lead protagonist, which spawned a nation-wide spread of T-Shirts, Laptops and Caps.

Televised "Heroes" fans may also remember seeing the drink referenced quite a few times.
Now, "word on the street" confirms that MTV obtained an interview with Abrams which claims Slusho! will make a brief appearance in his new Star Trek movie:

MTV: I couldn't help but notice the Slusho! reference from "Cloverfield" in the bar scene where Kirk first meets Uhura. Will we see other J.J.-isms peppered throughout the film?

J.J. Abrams: No. That was sort of the only one, and it was just sort of a goof.

"Live long and prosper."

Monday, December 15, 2008

FINALLY, a Crow remake!

Good news everyone!! Variety has said that;

"Stephen Norrington has signed on to write and direct a reinvention of “The Crow,” based on the comic created by James O’Barr."

"For Norrington, “The Crow” deal marks the end of a long screen sabbatical. After making his breakthrough with the Marvel Comics hero “Blade,” Norrington took on a big-budget comic transfer with “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” Neither the director nor his star, Sean Connery, has made a film since"

It's good they are FINALLY doing a remake of The Crow.

Not to be confused with;
The Crow: City of Angels
The Crow: Stairway to Heaven
The Crow: Salvation
The Crow: Wicked Prayer
or Wings of the Crow

Or the lesser known fan films;
The Crow: First Born
The Crow: From Lust to Dust
The Crow: Rebirth
The Crow: Dark Harvest
The Crow: Purgatory
The Crow: Devil's Night
or The Crow: Vengeance

May we just say, it's about time someone took a chance and worked on a sequel to the original.

I can only hope that they will bring back former The Crow's as cameos. Who could forget the Chairman of Iron Chef America as Eric Draven on TV, The Kid from terminator 2 as Johnny Cuervo, and Tara Reid as Tara Reid with a shirt on?

Trailer Origins: Wolverine

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool? Dominic Monaghan as Beak? Taylor Kitsch as Gambit? I'm sold. That is all you need to know really. We just can only hope that he gives a middle finger with some sweet Bone Claws...this is what we hope.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Powder Blue+Jessica Biel=Nudity

Powder Blue, I can only hope, will be named Best Picture of the decade. Why? Because it features some Jessica Biel nudity. Do you need any other reason? Watch the trailer or skip past it for the Toys and prizes afterward.

In honor of this momentous occasion we decided to document our favorite 20 scenes of Jessica from the trailer. Enjoy.





















Tonight we will try to cut out all those Forrest Whitaker scenes and repost with just a 2 minute Pew-Fest for your eyes.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Terminator: Ding Tao!

Trailer Addict is a magical site, yet the fact we don't even have a bootleg Terminator: Salvation trailer in English yet is off putting.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Dude, you are going to Hell

One of these guys will spend their eternal resting place surrounded in the burning oils of pain and suffering. Or, maybe, both.
Or, ... maybe not either one.

The battle of these two souls began early in the year 1997:
Apple Computer, Inc. shortened the company name simply to Apple Inc., thus eliciting a lawsuit by the British Apple Corps Ltd., representing Apple Records.
It was the same year the president and founder of PC's Limited informed the world that if he were to run Apple Inc. he would "shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders."

Fast-forward eleven years.
Dell Inc. and Apple Inc. made big press in the capitol of Texas these past weeks.
The concentration is on Austin, as Dell Inc. has been its bread and butter, while Apple Inc. has found its second home there.

The big debate? California's Prop #8.
While the whole process of capital funding for this proposition was illegal from the outset, ... The emergence of a donations list has appeared on the 'Net.

The largest spending on this debate (in the Austin area) are as follows:
Spencer Wheelwright, the marketing manager for Dell Inc., spent over $25,000 of personal wealth in support of Prop #8. Dell, the same company that marketed Steve, "Dude, you're gettin' a Dell!" guy; who was later fired due to his legal conviction of the possession of marijuana. Dell was also blind to the fact that the users of his equipment had been elicited by the evils portrayed by this unseen "dude."
On the same note, each of Apple's 3,200 (or so) Austin employees would have to have given more than $3,000 each to have achieved their $100,000 mark opposing Prop #8.

Michael Dell denies his company opposes the civil rights of its homosexual workers and buyers. "This is business, after all."

While a downright boycott of Dell products is an unrealistic attitude, should the resignation of Spence Wheelwright be called? Or, should the owners of older Dell computers simply do as others around the globe are doing? Buy new non-Dell equipment and send their old one back to Dell with a note stating: "Thanks, but no thanks."

Austinites can live without the butter. In this commercial recession they'll have to learn to survive on just bread and water.

Or, maybe, apples.

Ninja!...nope.Pirate?!!!...almost. NAZI Zombies!...thats the ticket

Its no secret that we here at AXB Enterprises love Zombies. It's also no secret that we despise the Nazis. Even the, alledged, naked ones in The Reader.

Dead Snow
apparently involves about Nazi Zombie Killing Machines. Not to be confused with the Nazi Ghost/Super Soldier Killing Machines from Outpost.

Only thing better than Nazi Zombies? Fast Nazi Zombies. In case you're too lazy to watch the trailer, here are some highlights.


Red Skull?



Fast Zombies!


Monday, December 1, 2008

First picture of Tim Riggins as Gambit!

Empire has posted the first official photo of Taylor Kitsch, Tim Riggins of Friday Night Lights, as the Cajun known as Gambit in their newest edition.


We wrote about this casting almost a year ago, and now is as good a time as any to repost a shirtless photo comparing Gambit to Kitsch.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 be released in 2009

Allegedly in 2012 the world will end. Among other reasons, this is the year that the Mayan calendar will end. Therefore this means that the world will end. It also says in Revelations(or perhaps Leviticus 18) that the world will have 3 or so years of peace before the Apocalypse. Some Democrats are saying this is the first 3 years of Obama....either way John Cusack and Olivar Platt are in a movie about it with a bad ass trailer.


Captain America spotted in 2012 trailer! Does that mean that that the Avengers movie will be set in 2012???


GothKid187 outbid me on a Vampire Death Case

YouBentMyWookie recently is telling the world of my failure in procuring an authentic vampire killing kit from the 1800s. I was apparently outbid and the kit was sold at auction for $14,850.

This particular kit has almost everything. Stakes, a gun(featuring silver bullets), crosses, 2 Bibles, garlic(which I don't believe have kept since the 1800's), and perhaps some Beet Juice in the back. Not sure on the last one..


What bothers me is that this case is TOO perfect for killing Vampires. I've heard all the stories too, but this case looks like it was taken out of Dean Winchester's trunk. It's THAT good. Were you killing Vampires that much that you needed a specially designed Vampire Death Case? Only if you were Bon Jovi.

Monday, November 17, 2008

OFFICIAL Star Trek Trailer

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

Isn't that the music from Apocalypse Now?

ALLEGEDLY there was this plot to kill Hitler. ALLEGEDLY there was something called the Holocaust. ALLEGEDLY I touched that girl.

According to history and criminal charges these are all true, but I'll need more evidence.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Angels & Demons is NOT about a cage fight...unfortunately

The Teaser Trailer for Tom Hanks' new endeavor Angels & Demons was released, and I've got to say I'm left flaccid. From everything I know, which is little, it's a prequel before he grew Emo Hair. It involves some Catholics being assholes, and some sweet ritual torture. I'm in.

Here's the trailer.

Thanks Trailer Addict, you're my favorite Uncle!

Arashikage motorcycle surprisingly NOT a Ninja. received images that may or may not be a motorcycle Snake Eyes will ride in Rise of Cobra. The fact that it features the G.I.Joe film team logo adds SOME legitimacy.

***UPDATE***IESB Reports it's NOT affiliated with the film other than the logos. It was created for ComicCon. Still kinda sweet.




Wednesday, October 29, 2008

FINALLY a movie devoted to JCVD!


"Van Damme plays himself, a down-and-out action star whose family and career are crumbling around him, as he’s caught in a bank heist in his hometown of Brussels, Belgium. JCVD is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s filmed redemption; a weary hero’s only shot to get back what he lost with fame."

Is this Biographical? Kind of. Is it superior to Hard Target? Unlikely because Wilford Brimley delivered his finest line, "Good whiskey make the rabbit slap the bear."

Either way you WANT to see JCVD in theaters, and now you can at THESE locations in the US, full list available at

Theater Listings:

Nov.7th & 8th ----------------------------

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Angelika Film Center
18 West Houston St.
(@ Mercer St.)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 995-2000

Nov.7th -----------------------------------

NEW YORK CITY, NY - AMC's Empire 25
42nd Street Between 7th and 8th Avenues,
New York, 10036
(212) 398-3939

Nov.14th ----------------------------------

LOS ANGELES, CA - Landmark's Nuart theatre
11272 Santa Monica Boulevard
(just west of the 405 Freeway)
West Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310) 281-8223

IRVINE, CA - Regal/Edwards University 6
Edwards University Town Center 6
4245 Campus Drive
Irvine, CA 92612
(949) 854- 8818

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Landmark Theatres - Kendall Square Cinemas
One Kendall Square
Cambridge, MA 02139
(617) 499-1996

WASHINGTON D.C. - Landmark's E street cinema
555 11th Street NW
Washington, DC 20004
(entrance on E Street between 10th and 11th Street)
(202) 452-7672

CHICAGO, IL - AMC Pipers Alley
(312) 642-7500
1608 N. Wells St.,
Chicago, IL 60614

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Landmark's Lumiere theatre
1572 California St. (@ Polk)
San Francisco , ca. 94109
(415) 267-4893

BERKELEY, CA - Landmark's Shattuck
2230 Shattuck Avenue
Berkeley, CA 94704
(510) 464-5980

PHILADELPHIA, PA - Landmark's Ritz at the Bourse
400 Ranstead Street
(On Fourth Street between Market and Chestnut)
Philadelphia, PA 19106
(215) 925-7900

ROYAL OAK, MI - The Main Art
118 N. Main St
Royal Oak, Mi 48067
248 263 2111

SAN JOSE, CA - Camera 12 cinema
201 South Second Street
San jose, Ca. 95113
(408) 998-3300

Nov. 21 ----------------------------------

PALO ALTO, CA - Landmark's Aquarius Theater
430 Emerson Street
Palo Alto, CA 94301
(650) 266-9260

SAN DIEGO, CA - Landmark's Hillcrest Theater
3965 5th Avenue
San Diego, CA 92103
(619) 819-0236

SEATTLE, WA - Landmark's Harvard Exit
807 East Roy at Harvard
Seattle, WA 98102
(206) 781-5755

DENVER, CO - Landmark's Mayan Theater
110 Broadway, Between First and Second Avenues
Denver, CO 80203
(303) 352-1992

AUSTIN, TX - Alamo Draft House
120 South Lamar
Austin Texas
(512) 707-8262

PLANO, TX - Angelika Film Center
The Shops @ Legacy
7205 Bishop Rd. Suite E6
Plano, TX 75024
(972) 943-1300

SACRAMENTO, CA - The Crest theatre
1013 K Street
Sacramento, CA 95814
(916) 44-CREST

SAN ANTONIO, TX - Bijou @ the crossroads
Santikos theatres
4522 Fredericksburg Rd.
San Antonio, Tx 78201
(210) 4960-2221

DALLAS, TX - Angelika film Center Dallas
5321 E. Mockingbird Ln. # 230.
Dallas a tx.t 75206
(214) 841-4713

HOUSTON, TX - Angelika film center Houston
510 Texas Avenue
Houston , tx 77002
(713) 255-1470

PORTLAND, OR - Regal Fox Tower stadium 10
846 SW Park Av.
Portland, Or 97205
(503) 225-5555

PITTSBURGH, PA - Squirrel Hill Theatre
5824 Forward Av.
Pittsburgh , Pa. 15217
(412) 421-7900

Nov. 28 ----------------------------------

COLUMBUS, OH - Landmark's Gateway Theater
1550 N. High Street
Columbus, Ohio 43201
(614) 545-2255

Dec. 12 ----------------------------------

MINNEAPOLIS - Landmark's Uptown Theater
2906 Hennepin Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55408
(612) 825-6006

Dec. 19 ----------------------------------

SAL LAKE CITY, UT - Tower Theatre
Salt Lake City Film Society
876 E. 900 South
Salt Lake City, Utah 84105
(801) 321-0310

Monday, October 27, 2008

All Saints Day...

Geeks of Doom reports that Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day has FINALLY begun filming in Toronto. Also reported is that all the original actors are reprising their role.

Is it too little too late?


Will Pop Group All Saints perform on the soundtrack?


More importantly, will they do a flashback scene of the cat?


All valid questions.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Vampires, Werewolves, and apparently Gladiator Cavemen???

Underworld and Underworld: Evolution didn't suck, that's clear to most. Therefore they have made ANOTHER Underworld movie, this time in the hopes it might suck just enough. How do they expect to acheive such a thing you ask? By replacing the cardboard yet extremely hot Kate Beckinsale with Rhona "Mad Max-ine" Mitra and going the Starship Troopers 3/Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift route and bringing back only 1 or 2 characters from the previous films in the hopes it will draw in an audience.

Lets watch.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

New Trailer for Watchmen you say?

Lat night at the SCREAM Awards that nobody watched they premiered a new trailer for Watchmen. I don't know HOW I missed it. Wait. I may have been knee deep in some Brazzers movies. Either way here it is.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hasbro's Cloverfield Movie Monster Has Been Canceled!!

By now, you have gotten home and opened your e-mail to see your order has been "canceled."

News is spreading over today's announcement by to discontinue their offer of a 17" tall Cloverfield Action Figure!

What do Cloverfield fans have left to show for the love of the monster? Ticket stubs? A Slusho! t-shirt? A copy of the DVD? Pissed off friends?

There's not much that can be done.
Hasbro has canceled the doll; and none of us are out any money.

All we can hope for is there to be a sequel to the original film.
(And, maybe Hasbro - or, some other company - will come around and offer the toy for real next time!)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It's about damn time. New G.I.Joe images


Hisstank, via IMDB has posted a new picture of veteran "3rd Guy on the Street" actor Joe Davis as a Neo Viper in the 2009 film.


You may remember Joe as the Neo Viper we saw over a month ago in a picture. Which just so happens to be one of the LAST bits of information we've gotten from the Joe camp.

Dear Notebook: Today I found out I might play Green Lantern....

El Mayimbe at Latino Review has brought up a possible casting choice for Green Lantern, which SHOULD begin filming in the Spring.

The Notebook's own...Ryan Gosling


Names have been thrown out a LOT for Green Lantern. Jack Black, Seth Green, some tool named Kerr Smith, and David Boreanaz. All pretty weak as far as casting goes, but I can't see Ryan Gosling handling the ring of Hal Jordan.

Now, if he were to be cast as Guy Gardner...


That is a new story all together.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Voces Video


Meanwhile ...

On tonight's episode of FRINGE: After Final Break

There's far too many broken links for this site to be ignored.
Rubin Polizzi worked for J.J. in 2006 on "TAKING THE HILL."

I don't mean to be so cryptic.

I tried to listen to everything my Father said.

o/` Row, row, row your boat ... o/`

I'm on the FRINGE™