Saturday, July 19, 2008

Dark Knight. What I Did. What I Didn't. What I Want.

I don't like reviews. Most are contrived and fed entirely on another persons words. In that vein I will list the best, and worst features, and nothing more.

What I Liked:

1. The "Magic" trick.
2. "Doberman or a Chihuahua? It'll stand up against a CAT."
3. Joker laughing while falling only to be caught by his ankle. Thanks Jack.
4. "Wanna know how I got these scars?"
5. Even while trying to find him, you can't see Heath in The Joker.


What I Didn't Like:

1. Batman's voice. What the hell?
2. You're surrounded by buildings and sitting in the Batman costume. Why no tinted windows?
3. The BatPod, and its ridiculous launch.
4. Two Face and his awkward makeup. Good thing his eye wasn't burned...at all.
5. Secret BatCave...conveniently next to a parking lot. Never gonna find that one.
6. The complete and utter waste of Scarecrow.


What I Want for Batman Returns...Again.

1. Hush
2. Black Mask, and the subsequent loss of Lucius Fox's face.
3. Arkham Escape. Dr. Zsasz, Mad Hatter, Scarface
4. Anarky
5. BANE


That's all I've got to say.

3 comments:

Caine said...

I agree with everything you didn't like. Also, what about the Joker's unlimited supply of steel drums filled with petrol?

I think an Arkam escape would be too big of a film (particular for the "other" Nolan to write)and Batman would get lost in it like he did with this one.

I'd like to see a re-boot of the Riddler, a guy behind the scenes with lots of digital and viral video...

Alistair Xavier Booya said...

I think that Arkham is the best option. Simple pitch from the AXB Enterprises team:

Movie starts with Mad Hatter. A wannabe criminal genius trying to start his career. After capture he is transferred to Arkham.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel, after an unseen meeting with Joker is disturbed and needs "time off". Shortly after Arkham is destroyed.

The destruction casts such villians as Killer Croc, Bane, Mad Hatter, and Anarky into the streets where Batman must round them all up. All led by Harleen Quinzell...Harley Quinn. Or Black Mask.

Cari Jewell said...

I'm still pulling for a Catwoman. I heard that "cat" bit from Lucius during the second viewing. I didn't catch it the first time, and I pointed it out to Clayton the second time we watched it.