AXB Enterprises

Mortal Kombat:Rebirth

2010-06-22T09:28:00.001-07:00

Sure it's not a real movie, but aren't those sometimes the best movies? With the epic line of unsatisfactory remakes and rebirths and reimaginings coming into theaters(see The Wolfman, Robin Hood, Get Him to the Greek) it's nice to see a short film actually do justice to the franchise. Just look, the best Batman film is Dead End, and the best LotR is The Hunt for Gollum. Now, we get this.

We're back Bitches!

2010-06-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

So what. We've taken 6 months off. Now we are trying to reinvigorate the website before we completely retrofit this golf cart and turn it into a beautiful butterfly.

We also plan to learn how to properly use a metaphor.

As our return we bring you a former fat man with bad teeth and poor acting skills who turned into a still-not-skinny yet smaller than John Popper man with bad teeth playing a thin man with an Asian. It's Green Hornet time!

"There's no plan B!"

2010-01-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

A-Team Trailer hits ... With a BANG!

J.J. Abrams Talks: "CLOVERFIELD" Sequel Still in the Works

2010-01-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

MTV Reports: ... on the progress of a "Cloverfield" sequel ... "We're working on something right now with that and again, you know, it's early stages." Said J. J. in an interview with Josh Horowitz.

J.J.'s been saying this sort of stuff since the original appeared in theaters January of 2008!

What is he waiting for? ...
Another 9/11 type incident to occur so that it can spur his imagination? Or, Sony's recent announcement of 3D theaters in which you won't have to wear those creepy glasses?

America's Monster, huh?
Maybe he'll announce that the monster will attack the theater and hand out video cams, so the viewing audience can film the event for themselves!

Whatever ... A whole slew of fans have become disgruntled over the whole "Cloverfield Sequel" thing, anyway. It has been a l-o-n-g time, and J.J. is a very busy man with the upcoming "Star Trek: 2/3D,""Mission Impossible: 4/3D," and "500 Rads: Handycam-meets-ZombieLand-possibly-shot-in-3D."

Stay alert! Something is bound to find us ... Again!

James Cameron Officially Announces AVATAR 2

2010-01-08T22:09:00.000-08:00

James Cameron has confirmed what we all expected would be confirmed – what now that the film’s made a billion bucks, and overtaken “Demolition Man” as the most profitable film of all time – once the red laser dots disappeared from his chest, and his wallet started to feel heavier : “Avatar 2” is on the way.

Aint it Cool News reports that Cameron has a trilogy in mind – we knew that all along though, right? – with the first sequel already clearly in his sight. With the technology, and the “Avatar” universe already invented thematically and creatively, the filmmaker noted that the next two films will be much easier to make. The hard work has already been done.

Cameron mentioned recently that “Avatar 2” might not be set on Pandora, and might instead fix on one of the other surrounding planets. Being that he’s signed for three films in all, it’s likely Sam Worthington will be back as the Australican Blue-Dude, Jake Sully.

Question is, Will Cameron direct the film? Doubtful. He’s a guy that doesn’t like to repeat himself, and despite briefly toying with the idea of a “True Lies” sequel, also don’t seem to be a filmmaker too interested in sequels. I’d say he’ll go the George Lucas-route, and likely produce the next two films.
SOURCE

"Can you make the speech bubbles more… edgy?"

2009-12-12T08:50:00.000-08:00

Title via Clients From Hell.

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won't Admit:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not White.
3. Rap music is here to stay
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year child is too big for a stroller.
8. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White And Black People Know, But Hispanic People Won't Admit:

1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.!
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family
10.Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 Truths White And Hispanic People Know, But Black People Won't Admit:

1. O. J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a kool-aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10.Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car

Guess this explains the new @LindsayLohan nude photos a bit, but not really.

Lindsay Lohan - "Lindsay's Private Party"
by hotcelebs

Racist. via Kuvaton

The hottest tattoo I've ever seen. via DeviantArt

The 2009 Hollywood Black List has been released. The 11 unattached screenplays Hollywood wants to see made.

I'm jealous. I only know a couple Black people.

Now you can visually document your pornographic viewing history in Firefox. Or see where your kids are going I suppose.

Malls are dead, and this proves it.

AXB Enterprises is transforming

2009-12-10T00:07:00.000-08:00

via Julia Segal

via Look At This Frakking Geekster

via Like Neely O'Hara

These Pro Wrestlers are dead. Benoit I remember, but Test died? I had no idea.

How big is the Internet you ask? Gizmodo knows!

Where did Craig find couches, handjobs, and house swaps before he made his list?

The coolest USB Flash Drive I've EVER seen.

1. Make String Cheese
2. Make Jerkey
3. Combine
4. ?????
5. PROFIT!

The world record for naked people in a tree is 13. How do I know this? Naked World Records of course. NSFW

''Let's see what happens next ...''

2009-09-21T21:17:00.001-07:00

FOUND!

2009-09-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

Something is falling from the skies over New York City's Central Park.
0:26

Hells YEAH!!

Go-To PT No. 1:
What is there?

It's DefenDOR. Like Inglourious Basterds, because misspelling is cool.

2009-09-09T16:09:00.000-07:00

Woody Harrelson has a history of late of playing crazy people. 2012, Zombieland, and now Defendor. The upcoming 3 Doors Down music video turned film. As ridiculous as it seems, my Pedobear senses are tingling about Kat Dennings possibly playing a hooker, so I shall watch.

Quinton Jackson is BA Baracus, but who are the rest of the A-Team?

2009-09-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

We've been floating the cast of the re-envisioned A-Team around in our heads all day. With the addition of Quinton "Rampage Jackson to the cast, it got us thinking. Yes, he also wears awkwardly large neckwear, but is he good enough? Personally we would have rather tacken Ving Rhames or even LL Cool J, but that is not the case. With rumors of Bradley Cooper and Liam Neeson floating around we wanted to cast OUR dream before they confirm anything else.

All Saints Day was rescheduled to October 30, 2009

2009-09-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

It's about God damn time! Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day finally has a trailer, it's Red Band, and we have it.

Disney=Marvelous. $4 Billion in Marvelous

2009-08-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

We all woke up to the news of Disney buying Marvel Enterprises for $4 Billion. This could mean a lot of things. MTV.com has a series of interesting questions, so I borrow from them;

1. How will the deal affect Marvel Comics?

Marvel has always been known for publishing edgy material, so how will adult-oriented titles be affected by Disney's ownership? From old favorites like The Punisher to new and popular characters like Kick-Ass, Marvel has quite a few fan-favorite series firmly set in the mature-reader realm.

Will Disney's kid-friendly focus tolerate the violence and racy content that's a staple of so many Marvel products? Disney has already stated that one of its main reasons for buying Marvel was to improve its standing among males aged 8-18, so it will be interesting to see if the new "Mouse of Ideas" will tolerate one of its established characters strangling a villain with his own intestines (a la Frank Castle).

2. What will happen to Marvel Studios?

One of the most celebrated aspects of Marvel's upcoming slate of movies is that each and every film in the Marvel Studios lineup counted a host of comic book writers on its creative team. Many have trumpeted Marvel's in-house, "if you want it done right, do it yourself" sensibility as the main reason for the success of films like "Iron Man"—while Warner Brothers' ownership of DC is often cited as the main reason its properties have a tough time getting off the ground and onto the big screen (with the exception of Batman, of course).

Will Disney take a hands-off approach with Marvel Studios as they have (to some degree) with Pixar, or can we expect to see Disney making the calls when it comes to creative teams for Marvel's in-house movies?

3. How much will the Disney and Marvel worlds merge?

Along with the obvious concerns about Scrooge McDuck/Tony Stark crossovers in comics, there are more serious questions to be asked about how much Disney we'll see in the Marvel Universe, and vice versa. For example, will Mickey Mouse and Wolverine begin sharing space on merchandise? Will characters from each universe begin appearing in each other's video games and/or cartoons? At this point, anything is possible.

そこに何ですか？- R U THERE?

2009-08-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

What is there?

Get it? It's a social statement on oil dependency!

2009-06-26T13:37:00.001-07:00

Daybreakers is an expanded scene from Blade turned into a political statement about the nation's dependency on foreign oil, starring Willem Defoe...I smell Oscar*!

*Only because they expanded it to 10 nominees though. That just means more shitty foreign films.

Michael Jackson takes first step to return in Zombie form

2009-06-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

Bad news: Michael Jackosn is dead. Sure no reports have officially come down, but he is. Lets be serious. TMZ is reporting it so it must be true.

Good news: Jackson's collection of the Beatle's catalog gets relinquished to Sir Paul McCartney at the time of death.

This completes the Rule of 3. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Jackson. Which means David Carradine falls into the Dom Deluise triumvirate.

No...Sky Saxon, lead singer and founder of the 1960s band The Seeds does NOT count as a valid celebrity, so his death really is meaningless.

RUN FOR THE HILLS! No, HIGHER hills! We're all gonna die!!! Wolverines!!!!

2009-06-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

2012...surprisingly being released in 2009.

Kate Gosselin puts out...

2009-06-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

We have been activly updating and expanding View from the Bathroom and neglecting you here at AXB Enterprises. Therefore as we can't find the remote and too lazy to get up and change the channel we are watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, we devote this post to the angry Milf that is Kate Gosselin. Born on March 28, 1975 she has 8 kids, so you know her frigid ass has put out at least twice. Enjoy.

Fuck you. I know it's not as good as my posts on Gabrielle Atticus, Pixie, or even Katie from Katies World, but I work with what I've got.

Windin' your way down on Baker Street

2009-05-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

Punch Out! is back on Wii

2009-05-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Nice little documentary on Little Mac and Punch Out! coming to the Wii

AXB interviews Adam Rifkin

2009-05-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Rarely do I talk highly of a film. It takes a lot to impress me, but recently we here at AXB Enterprises got a chance to watch Look directed by Adam Rifkin, the Director of the new to DVD film Look.

Rifkin was involved in The Chase, Psycho Cop Returns, and has been linked to He Man and the Masters of the Universe. After watching this film I was HIGHTY impressed. A film set consisting of the security cameras that already watch us every day. Not to mention jailbait nudity within the first 2 minutes of the film.

You had us from hello Adam.

Look is out on DVD this week and Look:The Series is currently in devolpment. Go buy the DVD, and listen to our interview with Rifkin here on our Podcast.

Adam Rifkin talks to AXB Enterprises

New G.I.Joe Trailer? Oi!

2009-04-30T14:19:00.001-07:00

Official trailer to be released online at 4:30pm today. Trailer hits theaters with Start Trek next week.

Frontier of Dawn looks like it sucks

2009-04-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

It's been amazingly slow with news for a long time, so I'm just posting filler from some shitty artsy film that may or may not be silent.

Told you Bitches "The Doctor" was Mindbender!

2009-03-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

HissTank got ahold of toy images of Cobra Commander. I was gonna be pissed if they combined Cobra Commander with Dr. Mindbender. Now we wait for "The Voice."

Greatest killing spree scene of all time?

2009-03-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

Something like a Grindhouse Pulp Fiction...who cares? The Punisher is killing people. LOTS of people.

Public Enemy trailer says what we've all been thinking.

2009-03-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

There is absolutely nothing ANY of us want to do in Indiana.

Terminator:Salvation Trailer features hazing.

2009-03-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

What we got from it? Marcus Wright has a small penis...this makes him very angry.

Another item. You can actually see when the lighting guy walks on the set in the motorcycle scene. Look close.

Wolverine Origins: James Howlett

2009-02-17T12:46:00.000-08:00

Yes, Wolverine has bone claws. No, they didn't add them in just for the movie.

Yes he was born in the 19th Century. No, they hopefully won't make it 19th Century America.

Yes, they seem to have grown since puberty. He's a Grower not a Shower!

Lesbian Vampire Killers tainted with the addition of more British accent

2009-02-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

LEsbian.Vampire.Killers....In Theatres Soon.

That is all they needed to say and I would be at the Midnight Showing. Now that I have proof there will be that damned accent throughout I may not even BitTorrent it.

Here's a Pitch for you!

2009-02-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

Scene: Industry Office. Mid Day, just after lunch at Koi.

Larry: We haven't been doing enough remakes lately. Anything that hasn't been touched in about 10 years?

Dave: Pelham One Two Three had a tv movie in the 90's, but nobody likes Edward James Olmos so its ok.

Larry: Green Light it! Is there any way we can make it and cast the villian from Swordfish and the cop character from Bone Collector?

Dave: You mean Denzel and Travolta?

Larry: Nope, the actual characters.

Run! Jump! Climb! Oh, Jake! - On again/Off again/On Again! Production of "Prince of Persia" Continues!!

2009-02-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

Prince of Persia fans will be delighted to know that the production is on again!

Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Prince Dastan in the Disney production of the popular video game series created by Jordon Mechner.

Photos from the set have started leaking all over the Internet, bringing the excitement level of the film up quite a notch.

The film also stars Ben Kingsly and Gemma Arterton and will follow The Sands of Time.

Gnatzi? Nahtsy? Who cares, they're scalping people!

2009-02-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

Inglorious - "not bringing honor and glory"
Basterd - "Not a real word in the English language, but who gives a shit?"

FINALLY!!! A G.I.Joe Trailer!!!

2009-02-01T02:33:00.000-08:00

Coming Soon got access to an exclusive view of the new G.I.Joe Trailer, and after all the wait and we are very pleased. Very, very pleased.

NBS Nightly News with Ted Philips, March 11th 1970

2009-01-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

Cloverfield got it. The Dark Knight got it. Watchmen understands it. Even that goddamn Poughkeepsie Tapes got it. Viral marketing is the KEY. Where you at G.I.Joe?

The World Needs Its Heroes Back!

2009-01-20T15:01:00.000-08:00

We REALLY need our Heroes back. Not in the Watchmen perspective, but just the tv show. A season that doesn't blow ass at least. Mohinder is worthless and Claire keeps her clothes on too much. We need to change that.

Crank...that Soulja Boy!

2009-01-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a slow few months really. All I have to look forward to is the Superbowl. Not because the teams mean a damned thing to me, but because of the Rise of Cobra and Revenge of the Fallen trailers that are due to appear within.

Despite a complete lack of information from both camps, we DO have some Crank 2 action!

Franklyn. Like Benjymn Franklyn, but at a sex party

2009-01-16T22:25:00.000-08:00

Franklyn has many things working against it, but let's go down a list.

Pro: Fetish Masks
Con: Ryan Phillipe
Pro: Top Hats
Con: Ryan Phillipe
Pro: Guns
Con: Ryan Phillipe
Pro: Random Actress who may be topless at some point.
Con: Ryan Phillipe

Fast. Furious. Flamboyantly Parkour.

2009-01-16T22:19:00.000-08:00

Bourne Furious? Bourne Fast?

How is it that I despise Daniel Craig and the "James Bourne" franchise, but when the Fast/Furious franchise does it we here find it endearing and exciting? Because Vin Diesel is dreamy. That's why.

TAG ... You're it! -- Fans Obsessed With Cloverfield Sequel.

2009-01-15T13:42:00.000-08:00

"IT HAS BEGUN"

No Further Explanation.

Chun Li in English....because we speak English.

2009-01-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

FINALLY The Legend of Chun Li is in English thanks to IGN, but really. Did we prefer it in Laotian? Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

Lesbian. Vampire. Killers. Really? Sign my ass up!

2008-12-29T14:50:00.000-08:00

Here is someone who knows how to title a film. The sequal? Ninja Pirate Rapers? Mutant Teen Nudity? Barbarian Lion Gladiators? Epic Robot Nubians? Elephant Knife Fight??? All good suggestions. Want the synopsis just for MORE incentive?

"Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural Welsh town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice."

Ding Tao: The Legend of Chun Li trailer

2008-12-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

We finally get a peek at the new Street Fighter film and it's in Japanese/Chinese/Klingon. All of which we do not speak here. Either way it's nice to see that V from V for Vendetta is getting work as Vega...for Vendetta.

Slusho! Slusho! Everywhere! (But, not a drop to drink)

2008-12-17T09:39:00.000-08:00

While the face is recognizable ... The "Drink" is known only to die-hard Abrams fans.

Slusho! has been around since its first appearance on an episode of Alias in 2004 and is still growing in popularity!

A second siting of the frozen soft drink was seen during the trailer of Abrams' "mystery movie", worn by the brother of the lead protagonist, which spawned a nation-wide spread of T-Shirts, Laptops and Caps.

Televised "Heroes" fans may also remember seeing the drink referenced quite a few times.

Now, "word on the street" confirms that MTV obtained an interview with Abrams which claims Slusho! will make a brief appearance in his new Star Trek movie:

MTV: I couldn't help but notice the Slusho! reference from "Cloverfield" in the bar scene where Kirk first meets Uhura. Will we see other J.J.-isms peppered throughout the film?

J.J. Abrams: No. That was sort of the only one, and it was just sort of a goof.

"Live long and prosper."

FINALLY, a Crow remake!

2008-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Good news everyone!! Variety has said that;

"Stephen Norrington has signed on to write and direct a reinvention of “The Crow,” based on the comic created by James O’Barr."

"For Norrington, “The Crow” deal marks the end of a long screen sabbatical. After making his breakthrough with the Marvel Comics hero “Blade,” Norrington took on a big-budget comic transfer with “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” Neither the director nor his star, Sean Connery, has made a film since"

It's good they are FINALLY doing a remake of The Crow.

Not to be confused with;
The Crow: City of Angels
The Crow: Stairway to Heaven
The Crow: Salvation
The Crow: Wicked Prayer
or Wings of the Crow

Or the lesser known fan films;
The Crow: First Born
The Crow: From Lust to Dust
The Crow: Rebirth
The Crow: Dark Harvest
The Crow: Purgatory
The Crow: Devil's Night
or The Crow: Vengeance

May we just say, it's about time someone took a chance and worked on a sequel to the original.

I can only hope that they will bring back former The Crow's as cameos. Who could forget the Chairman of Iron Chef America as Eric Draven on TV, The Kid from terminator 2 as Johnny Cuervo, and Tara Reid as Tara Reid with a shirt on?

Trailer Origins: Wolverine

2008-12-15T12:25:00.000-08:00

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool? Dominic Monaghan as Beak? Taylor Kitsch as Gambit? I'm sold. That is all you need to know really. We just can only hope that he gives a middle finger with some sweet Bone Claws...this is what we hope.

Powder Blue+Jessica Biel=Nudity

2008-12-10T18:05:00.000-08:00

Powder Blue, I can only hope, will be named Best Picture of the decade. Why? Because it features some Jessica Biel nudity. Do you need any other reason? Watch the trailer or skip past it for the Toys and prizes afterward.

In honor of this momentous occasion we decided to document our favorite 20 scenes of Jessica from the trailer. Enjoy.

Tonight we will try to cut out all those Forrest Whitaker scenes and repost with just a 2 minute Pew-Fest for your eyes.

Terminator: Ding Tao!

2008-12-09T12:58:00.000-08:00

Trailer Addict is a magical site, yet the fact we don't even have a bootleg Terminator: Salvation trailer in English yet is off putting.

Dude, you are going to Hell

2008-12-05T13:46:00.000-08:00

One of these guys will spend their eternal resting place surrounded in the burning oils of pain and suffering. Or, maybe, both.
Or, ... maybe not either one.

The battle of these two souls began early in the year 1997:
Apple Computer, Inc. shortened the company name simply to Apple Inc., thus eliciting a lawsuit by the British Apple Corps Ltd., representing Apple Records.
It was the same year the president and founder of PC's Limited informed the world that if he were to run Apple Inc. he would "shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders."

Fast-forward eleven years.
Dell Inc. and Apple Inc. made big press in the capitol of Texas these past weeks.
The concentration is on Austin, as Dell Inc. has been its bread and butter, while Apple Inc. has found its second home there.

The big debate? California's Prop #8.
While the whole process of capital funding for this proposition was illegal from the outset, ... The emergence of a donations list has appeared on the 'Net.

The largest spending on this debate (in the Austin area) are as follows:
Spencer Wheelwright, the marketing manager for Dell Inc., spent over $25,000 of personal wealth in support of Prop #8. Dell, the same company that marketed Steve, "Dude, you're gettin' a Dell!" guy; who was later fired due to his legal conviction of the possession of marijuana. Dell was also blind to the fact that the users of his equipment had been elicited by the evils portrayed by this unseen "dude."
On the same note, each of Apple's 3,200 (or so) Austin employees would have to have given more than $3,000 each to have achieved their $100,000 mark opposing Prop #8.

Michael Dell denies his company opposes the civil rights of its homosexual workers and buyers. "This is business, after all."

While a downright boycott of Dell products is an unrealistic attitude, should the resignation of Spence Wheelwright be called? Or, should the owners of older Dell computers simply do as others around the globe are doing? Buy new non-Dell equipment and send their old one back to Dell with a note stating: "Thanks, but no thanks."

Austinites can live without the butter. In this commercial recession they'll have to learn to survive on just bread and water.

Or, maybe, apples.

Ninja!...nope.Pirate?...no.Ghost!!!...almost. NAZI Zombies!...thats the ticket

2008-12-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

Its no secret that we here at AXB Enterprises love Zombies. It's also no secret that we despise the Nazis. Even the, alledged, naked ones in The Reader.

Dead Snow apparently involves about Nazi Zombie Killing Machines. Not to be confused with the Nazi Ghost/Super Soldier Killing Machines from Outpost.

Only thing better than Nazi Zombies? Fast Nazi Zombies. In case you're too lazy to watch the trailer, here are some highlights.

Red Skull?

Fast Zombies!

First picture of Tim Riggins as Gambit!

2008-12-01T09:33:00.000-08:00

Empire has posted the first official photo of Taylor Kitsch, Tim Riggins of Friday Night Lights, as the Cajun known as Gambit in their newest edition.

We wrote about this casting almost a year ago, and now is as good a time as any to repost a shirtless photo comparing Gambit to Kitsch.

Wait for it...wait for it...YES YES!

2008-11-26T15:38:00.000-08:00

Gripping. Moving. And that's just Mickey Rourke's bowels.

2008-11-24T11:46:00.001-08:00

2012...to be released in 2009

2008-11-18T12:26:00.000-08:00

Allegedly in 2012 the world will end. Among other reasons, this is the year that the Mayan calendar will end. Therefore this means that the world will end. It also says in Revelations(or perhaps Leviticus 18) that the world will have 3 or so years of peace before the Apocalypse. Some Democrats are saying this is the first 3 years of Obama....either way John Cusack and Olivar Platt are in a movie about it with a bad ass trailer.

UPDATE!!!!

Captain America spotted in 2012 trailer! Does that mean that that the Avengers movie will be set in 2012???

GothKid187 outbid me on a Vampire Death Case

2008-11-18T11:27:00.000-08:00

YouBentMyWookie recently is telling the world of my failure in procuring an authentic vampire killing kit from the 1800s. I was apparently outbid and the kit was sold at auction for $14,850.

This particular kit has almost everything. Stakes, a gun(featuring silver bullets), crosses, 2 Bibles, garlic(which I don't believe have kept since the 1800's), and perhaps some Beet Juice in the back. Not sure on the last one..

What bothers me is that this case is TOO perfect for killing Vampires. I've heard all the stories too, but this case looks like it was taken out of Dean Winchester's trunk. It's THAT good. Were you killing Vampires that much that you needed a specially designed Vampire Death Case? Only if you were Bon Jovi.

OFFICIAL Star Trek Trailer

2008-11-17T11:28:00.000-08:00

Remember remember, the 5th of November

2008-11-05T21:10:00.000-08:00

Isn't that the music from Apocalypse Now?

2008-10-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

ALLEGEDLY there was this plot to kill Hitler. ALLEGEDLY there was something called the Holocaust. ALLEGEDLY I touched that girl.

According to history and criminal charges these are all true, but I'll need more evidence.

Angels & Demons is NOT about a cage fight...unfortunately

2008-10-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

The Teaser Trailer for Tom Hanks' new endeavor Angels & Demons was released, and I've got to say I'm left flaccid. From everything I know, which is little, it's a prequel before he grew Emo Hair. It involves some Catholics being assholes, and some sweet ritual torture. I'm in.

Here's the trailer.

Thanks Trailer Addict, you're my favorite Uncle!

Arashikage motorcycle surprisingly NOT a Ninja.

2008-10-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

HISSTank.com received images that may or may not be a motorcycle Snake Eyes will ride in Rise of Cobra. The fact that it features the G.I.Joe film team logo adds SOME legitimacy.

***UPDATE***IESB Reports it's NOT affiliated with the film other than the logos. It was created for ComicCon. Still kinda sweet.

FINALLY a movie devoted to JCVD!

2008-10-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

"Van Damme plays himself, a down-and-out action star whose family and career are crumbling around him, as he’s caught in a bank heist in his hometown of Brussels, Belgium. JCVD is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s filmed redemption; a weary hero’s only shot to get back what he lost with fame."

Is this Biographical? Kind of. Is it superior to Hard Target? Unlikely because Wilford Brimley delivered his finest line, "Good whiskey make the rabbit slap the bear."

Either way you WANT to see JCVD in theaters, and now you can at THESE locations in the US, full list available at JCVD-themovie.com.

Theater Listings:

Nov.7th & 8th ----------------------------

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Angelika Film Center
18 West Houston St.
(@ Mercer St.)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 995-2000
http://www.angelikafilmcenter.com

Nov.7th -----------------------------------

NEW YORK CITY, NY - AMC's Empire 25
42nd Street Between 7th and 8th Avenues,
New York, 10036
(212) 398-3939
http://www.amctheatres.com/

Nov.14th ----------------------------------

LOS ANGELES, CA - Landmark's Nuart theatre
11272 Santa Monica Boulevard
(just west of the 405 Freeway)
West Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310) 281-8223
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

IRVINE, CA - Regal/Edwards University 6
Edwards University Town Center 6
4245 Campus Drive
Irvine, CA 92612
(949) 854- 8818
http://www.regalcinemas.com

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Landmark Theatres - Kendall Square Cinemas
One Kendall Square
Cambridge, MA 02139
(617) 499-1996
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

WASHINGTON D.C. - Landmark's E street cinema
555 11th Street NW
Washington, DC 20004
(entrance on E Street between 10th and 11th Street)
(202) 452-7672
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

CHICAGO, IL - AMC Pipers Alley
(312) 642-7500
1608 N. Wells St.,
Chicago, IL 60614
http://www.amctheatres.com

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Landmark's Lumiere theatre
1572 California St. (@ Polk)
San Francisco , ca. 94109
(415) 267-4893
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

BERKELEY, CA - Landmark's Shattuck
2230 Shattuck Avenue
Berkeley, CA 94704
(510) 464-5980
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

PHILADELPHIA, PA - Landmark's Ritz at the Bourse
400 Ranstead Street
(On Fourth Street between Market and Chestnut)
Philadelphia, PA 19106
(215) 925-7900
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

ROYAL OAK, MI - The Main Art
118 N. Main St
Royal Oak, Mi 48067
248 263 2111
http://www.landmarktheatres.com

SAN JOSE, CA - Camera 12 cinema
201 South Second Street
San jose, Ca. 95113
(408) 998-3300
http://www.cameracinemas.com

Nov. 21 ----------------------------------

PALO ALTO, CA - Landmark's Aquarius Theater
430 Emerson Street
Palo Alto, CA 94301
(650) 266-9260
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

SAN DIEGO, CA - Landmark's Hillcrest Theater
3965 5th Avenue
San Diego, CA 92103
(619) 819-0236
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

SEATTLE, WA - Landmark's Harvard Exit
807 East Roy at Harvard
Seattle, WA 98102
(206) 781-5755
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

DENVER, CO - Landmark's Mayan Theater
110 Broadway, Between First and Second Avenues
Denver, CO 80203
(303) 352-1992
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

AUSTIN, TX - Alamo Draft House
120 South Lamar
Austin Texas
(512) 707-8262
http://www.drafthouse.com

PLANO, TX - Angelika Film Center
The Shops @ Legacy
7205 Bishop Rd. Suite E6
Plano, TX 75024
(972) 943-1300
http://www.angelikafilmcenter.com

SACRAMENTO, CA - The Crest theatre
1013 K Street
Sacramento, CA 95814
(916) 44-CREST
http://www.thecrest.com

SAN ANTONIO, TX - Bijou @ the crossroads
Santikos theatres
4522 Fredericksburg Rd.
San Antonio, Tx 78201
(210) 4960-2221
http://www.santikos.com/bijou.html

DALLAS, TX - Angelika film Center Dallas
5321 E. Mockingbird Ln. # 230.
Dallas a tx.t 75206
(214) 841-4713
http://www.angelikafilmcenter.com

HOUSTON, TX - Angelika film center Houston
510 Texas Avenue
Houston , tx 77002
(713) 255-1470
http://www.angelikafilmcenter.com

PORTLAND, OR - Regal Fox Tower stadium 10
846 SW Park Av.
Portland, Or 97205
(503) 225-5555
http://www.regalcinemas.com

PITTSBURGH, PA - Squirrel Hill Theatre
5824 Forward Av.
Pittsburgh , Pa. 15217
(412) 421-7900
http://www.cinemagicpgh.com

Nov. 28 ----------------------------------

COLUMBUS, OH - Landmark's Gateway Theater
1550 N. High Street
Columbus, Ohio 43201
(614) 545-2255
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

Dec. 12 ----------------------------------

MINNEAPOLIS - Landmark's Uptown Theater
2906 Hennepin Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55408
(612) 825-6006
http://tickets.landmarktheatres.com

Dec. 19 ----------------------------------

SAL LAKE CITY, UT - Tower Theatre
Salt Lake City Film Society
876 E. 900 South
Salt Lake City, Utah 84105
(801) 321-0310
http://www.saltlakefilmsociety.org

All Saints Day...

2008-10-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

Geeks of Doom reports that Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day has FINALLY begun filming in Toronto. Also reported is that all the original actors are reprising their role.

Is it too little too late?

Will Pop Group All Saints perform on the soundtrack?

More importantly, will they do a flashback scene of the cat?

All valid questions.

Vampires, Werewolves, and apparently Gladiator Cavemen???

2008-10-23T15:45:00.000-07:00

Underworld and Underworld: Evolution didn't suck, that's clear to most. Therefore they have made ANOTHER Underworld movie, this time in the hopes it might suck just enough. How do they expect to acheive such a thing you ask? By replacing the cardboard yet extremely hot Kate Beckinsale with Rhona "Mad Max-ine" Mitra and going the Starship Troopers 3/Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift route and bringing back only 1 or 2 characters from the previous films in the hopes it will draw in an audience.

Lets watch.

New Trailer for Watchmen you say?

2008-10-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Lat night at the SCREAM Awards that nobody watched they premiered a new trailer for Watchmen. I don't know HOW I missed it. Wait. I may have been knee deep in some Brazzers movies. Either way here it is.

Hasbro's Cloverfield Movie Monster Has Been Canceled!!

2008-10-15T15:40:00.001-07:00

By now, you have gotten home and opened your e-mail to see your order has been "canceled."

News is spreading over today's announcement by HasboToyShop.com to discontinue their offer of a 17" tall Cloverfield Action Figure!

What do Cloverfield fans have left to show for the love of the monster? Ticket stubs? A Slusho! t-shirt? A copy of the DVD? Pissed off friends?

There's not much that can be done.
Hasbro has canceled the doll; and none of us are out any money.

All we can hope for is there to be a sequel to the original film.
(And, maybe Hasbro - or, some other company - will come around and offer the toy for real next time!)

It's about damn time. New G.I.Joe images

2008-10-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well...image.

Hisstank, via IMDB has posted a new picture of veteran "3rd Guy on the Street" actor Joe Davis as a Neo Viper in the 2009 film.

You may remember Joe as the Neo Viper we saw over a month ago in a picture. Which just so happens to be one of the LAST bits of information we've gotten from the Joe camp.

Dear Notebook: Today I found out I might play Green Lantern....

2008-10-09T12:37:00.001-07:00

El Mayimbe at Latino Review has brought up a possible casting choice for Green Lantern, which SHOULD begin filming in the Spring.

The Notebook's own...Ryan Gosling

Names have been thrown out a LOT for Green Lantern. Jack Black, Seth Green, some tool named Kerr Smith, and David Boreanaz. All pretty weak as far as casting goes, but I can't see Ryan Gosling handling the ring of Hal Jordan.

Now, if he were to be cast as Guy Gardner...

That is a new story all together.

Voces Video

2008-09-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

VOCES en ESPAÑOL es VOICES

Meanwhile ...

On tonight's episode of FRINGE: After Final Break

There's far too many broken links for this site to be ignored.
Rubin Polizzi worked for J.J. in 2006 on "TAKING THE HILL."

I don't mean to be so cryptic.

I tried to listen to everything my Father said.

o/` Row, row, row your boat ... o/`

I'm on the FRINGE™

-ras

007: Mass Quantity of Alone Time

2008-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

I still have yet to watch the LAST James Bond film because I believe Daniel Craig to be an Ass Cock, not to be confused with Cock Ass, and can't bring myself to it. Pierce Brosnan to me is the definitive Bond, yet Sean Connery of course is the legend. I just can't stand Daniel Craig is what I'm saying, but here is the new trailer nonetheless.

Mickey Rourke as Elton in, 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road...you Fuck!'

2008-09-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

Mickey Rourke is a cartoon, and I don't think this can be debated, but can we just address what he might be thinking when he chose this haircut???

This is a clip from 'The Wrestler' where he looks like Shawn Micheal's drug addicted Uncle, yet I want to see it more than most films on the horizon. I like to assume he'll be donning the Donald Duck costume and portraying the gritty side of Sir Elton...but probably not.

Here is a behind the scenes from 'The Wrestler'.

Neo Viper...kinda cool

2008-09-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

The first image of the Neo Viper was released from the upcoming G.I.Joe film, and we here at AXB kind of like it. Part Ninja. Part SWAT Member. Personally we would have loved some Night Creeper action, but who are we to judge.

Attached are the new image, plus figure incarnations of the Neo Viper over the years. These are just 3 of the 7 versions available.

2008-08-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

So the rumors of 4Fast4Furious have been rolling around for awhile. The rumor about it containing almost the ENTIRE original cast seems to be legit. The rumor that it will be based in between 2 and 3 seems to be somewhat legit. The rumor that it will only be a 30 minute Mini Movie directed by Vin himself? I hope not.

Fast & Furious

The 5 Most Pause-Worthy Moments in Archie Comics

2008-08-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

I grew up on Archie Comics. I was always more of a Betty person, but even at times Midge would do it for me. You guys who work at AXB really are Dilton type people, but everyone gets a Veronica from time to time.

Complex put together some great time and effort to gather this fantastic list and need to get credit for such and endeavor.

"When the President does it, it's NOT illegal." FINALLY!

2008-08-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

I had been avoiding Frost/Nixon just because of it's similarities to the film W, which I do not care for. If I may rant just for a moment feel free to read below the trailer for Frost/Nixon, if not then enjoy the trailer.

There are few people and fewer films that contain my political views. These are easily described and very much not enjoyed by others in my field.

I think that America is the greatest country in the world, that is not questioned. I also believe that it is our job AS the greatest country to make sure that anyone else in the world that creates turmoil be brought down in a hail of gun fire by our military.

I think that it is our place to rule the world with an Iron Fist along with our supporting countries. I think that the President of the USA as the leader of the world, should never be questioned in actions or etiquette, and should have final say on any and all decisions without legal action.

I think that the President when elected receives a 'Get Out of Jail Free Card' so to speak on any and all present and future endeavors. This of course would be null if he started shooting people in the street and such, which he would then be put somewhere safe, yet not a jail, and should NEVER stand trial.

"When the President does it, it's NOT illegal." Well said Frost/Nixon...well said.

Rule of 3 completes it's cycle with Leroi Moore

2008-08-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

Leroi Browns died yesterday afternoon of complications from an accident in June.Moore served as saxophonist and founding member of the Dave Matthews Band.

In a release from the Dave Matthews Band official website, the official statement of the band read;

We are deeply saddened that LeRoi Moore, saxophonist and founding member of Dave Matthews Band, died unexpectedly Tuesday afternoon, August 19, 2008, at Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center in Los Angeles from sudden complications stemming from his June ATV accident on his farm near Charlottesville, Virginia. LeRoi had recently returned to his Los Angeles home to begin an intensive physical rehabilitation program

Has Viral Advertising Gone Sour?

2008-08-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, J.J. ... What have you created?

Are we, the huddled masses, rushing towards your endeavors? Or, are we all just lambs waiting for your grand attack?

Many of your recent projects have been pushed ahead of their original release coordinates: Star Trek ... from X-mas 2008 to summer 2009 - FRINGE from August '08 to September - Cloverfield II to the AKCD!

Fans don't really want answers, we want entertainment.
These new Internet viral sites serve virtually no purpose; they are only confusing and lead true fans far from their goal: The ULTIMATE in mind f*ck.

Therefor, while there's a whole universe waiting to be grabbed, and you have literally millions of fans at your current disposal ... why are you getting all "show me a little and not deliver the goods?"

Okay ... So, you've delivered the goods.
But, how far are fans willing to go?

Only time will tell.

G'night Shyamalan.

It's exactly like Heat...but different

2008-08-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Robert Deniro and Al Pacino in the same movie?? Sure it's been seen before, but it's been nothing less than awesome every other time, why not now?

Righteous Kill, set to be released on September 12th has a new trailer, and of course AXB Enterprises has it as well.

Is this the greatest cast ever put together? I think so, sure we would have liked Sticky Fingaz as a ninja vampire, but no movie is perfect.

Cast (in alphabetical order)

Al Pacino ... Rooster
Robert De Niro ... Turk
50 Cent ... Spider
Brian Dennehy ... Lieutenant Hingus
Rob Dyrdek ... Robert Milton Bradley
Carla Gugino ... Karen Kleisner
John Leguizamo ... Detective Perez
Donnie Wahlberg ... Detective Riley

First look at Chuck Palahniuk's Choke

2008-08-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks to IMDB Pro and the folks at Pop Sugar, here is the first look at the film adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's Choke.

2 down...1 to go

2008-08-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

I did not mention anything about Bernie Mac's death because his level of fame in my mind had no impact. His show was mediocre and his legacy will be the whiney kid. Am I saddened that he died? Of course. Will I remember him in 6 months? No.

Who I WILL remember is Isaac Hayes. His life ended today at the age of 65.

Not only will I remember him from his work as Chef, but the man who created the greatest theme of all time, of course the theme from Shaft. Scientologist or not, the man was a legend.

Rule of 3. Who will be next?

UPDATE: AXB Enterpriser Daryl Toor from attentiongroup.com forwarded me this photo from IsaacHayes.com. Say it ain't so Sam.

G.I.Joe Resolute footage. FINALLY from ComicCon

2008-08-08T15:41:00.000-07:00

The office move is a pain in the ass, but expect all new merch within weeks to commemorate.

In other news, G.I.Joe Resolute was givin to ComicCon fans in the form of a teaser, and apparently it's taken this long to upload it from their cellphone.

New Offices for AXB Enterprises

2008-07-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

Over the next few weeks we will be integrating the AXB Enterprises into its new home. This means lesser posts, as you may have noticed, and possibly an overhaul of the site itself.

Stay tuned for updates on the process, and a new mailing address for any Blog Related merch.

Red Sonja...Thought it was McGowanless?

2008-07-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

I love Comic Con. More than the AVN Awards, and even more than the BET Awards. It is a magical time.

First look at the posters for the 2010 release of Red Sonja.

Punisher: War Zone. Red Band like it should be

2008-07-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen...Damon Wayans?

2008-07-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

Little is really known, but TransformersMovie.com has been updated with a fairly crypic subtitle.

I say that as long as there are Dino-Bots I''ll be happy. Perhaps they will battle the GoBots??? Most likely neither, but Megan Fox is going to be in it so that's enough.

Dark Knight. What I Did. What I Didn't. What I Want.

2008-07-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

I don't like reviews. Most are contrived and fed entirely on another persons words. In that vein I will list the best, and worst features, and nothing more.

What I Liked:

1. The "Magic" trick.
2. "Doberman or a Chihuahua? It'll stand up against a CAT."
3. Joker laughing while falling only to be caught by his ankle. Thanks Jack.
4. "Wanna know how I got these scars?"
5. Even while trying to find him, you can't see Heath in The Joker.

What I Didn't Like:

1. Batman's voice. What the hell?
2. You're surrounded by buildings and sitting in the Batman costume. Why no tinted windows?
3. The BatPod, and its ridiculous launch.
4. Two Face and his awkward makeup. Good thing his eye wasn't burned...at all.
5. Secret BatCave...conveniently next to a parking lot. Never gonna find that one.
6. The complete and utter waste of Scarecrow.

What I Want for Batman Returns...Again.

1. Hush
2. Black Mask, and the subsequent loss of Lucius Fox's face.
3. Arkham Escape. Dr. Zsasz, Mad Hatter, Scarface
4. Anarky
5. BANE

That's all I've got to say.

My City Screams

2008-07-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

The Spirit, AKA the much anticipated Sin City 1.5, has just released their new trailer for our viewing pleasure. Also for our pleasure is a weird variety of hotties in some sort of suspended animation.

Enjoy it before they force me to take it down.

Terminator: Salivate...tion

2008-07-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

Christian Bale as John Connor is a good casting no doubt. Hell, Christian Bale as anything is a good casting. His role in Terminator:Salvation is sure to please. Set to be released May 22, 2009, the trailer will debut in theaters before Dark Knight, but AXB Enterprises, in conjunction with Yahoo Movies, has it here. Hit the picture to link.

"Maximum Bob: The Movie" to be called Max Payne

2008-07-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

Apparently Mark Wahlberg will star alongside Beau Bridges in the follow-up to the most beloved tv of all time, Maximum Bob.

They have unwisely changed the title to Max Payne to go along with the videogame based on Beau Bridges' character. I don't understand, but here is the trailer.

This film does have merit though. Guns, death, and Mila Kunis. Perhaps her first nude scene? Either that or its a random set of breasts made to trick me into thinking it's Mila Kunis' first nude scene.

---UPDATE: So I guess this was a video game ONLY, and has no relation to Maximum Bob or Liz Vassey. Just for grins, here's a shot of Liz Vassey anyways.---

Elfquest coming to theaters

2008-07-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

The Hollywood Reporter is reporting from Hollywood, ironic I know, that Elfquest has made a major step in coming to theaters.

"Elfquest," the cult comic by Wendy and Richard Pini, is heading to the big screen courtesy of Warners Bros. and Rawson Thurber.

Thurber will write, direct and produce the feature, whose format is undetermined."

If they can do Dark Crystal and The LOTR characters look half believable, you can put some guy in some elf ears riding on a mechanical wolf. We can do it. We have the technology.

33 year old Thurber has already brought us Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and the GENIUS of Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, seen here;

Terminator Salvation and Watchmen trailers

2008-07-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

Coming Soon has released information that The Dark Knight will feature MULTIPLE debut trailers on its July 18th release date.

:...you can expect are the first trailers for Warner Bros.' Terminator Salvation (May 22, 2009), which of course also stars Christian Bale, Zack Snyder's graphic novel adaptation Watchmen (Mar. 6, 2009), and the Ridley Scott-directed thriller Body of Lies (Oct. 10), with Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe."

Thank you Dominos! New Dark Knight Trailer

2008-07-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

While AXB tries to decipher while his account has been deleted, I will return to the ring to provide you with the entertainment needed.

Domino's has joined the ranks of upcoming Mummy movie by teaming with a Pizza chain to release their newest trailer.

Confusing? Yes.

Delicious? Of course.

James Bond rode a Vespa.....giggle

2008-06-30T16:23:00.000-07:00

The new trailer for Quantum of Solace is out, and is just as exciting as you'd expect. Apparently Bond is lost in the desert wearing a tuxedo and some sort of semi automatic weapon. Been there. The one redeeming factor once again, is Olga Kurylenko. Stay tuned after the trailer for the good stuff.

A list of all the movies Olga Kurylenko has been nude of and pictures? Here you go.

Top 3 Comic Books that NEED to be Movies

2008-06-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

1. Preacher - written by Garth Ennis

Hi, I'm Jesse Custer. I was possessed by the offspring of an Angel and a Demon. I can cause you to shove your head up your own ass just by telling you to. I'm joined by an Irish Vampire Alcoholic. Along my journey I will fight the Grim Reaper who just so happens to be an old west gunfighter. Did I mention Arseface?

Make this movie. Make it now.

2. Nth Man - written by Larry Hama

Nth Man is a comic book about an American ninja in World War III. Challenge that premise alone. Russians, Muties, Clowns, and Ninjas. Plus written by Larry Hama and described by himself as his favorite work? Easy choice.

3. Marvel 1602 - written by Neil Gaiman

Setting the Marvel Universe 400 years early was a stroke of genius by Gaiman. Putting all the characters we are used to in the Elizabethan era and situations of the time. Featuring Spiderman, the X-Men, Captain America, Fantastic Four, Doctor Doom, and everyone else you know and love. The imagery alone would be worth the price of admission, and the story could finally legitimize comic book movies with an Oscar (Not counting Dick Tracy).

Damn You Brendan Fraser!!!!

2008-06-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

I've been watching a LOT of MTVHits lately on my cable, and I've gotta say that I'm not impressed. Simple reviews before I get to business.

Tokio Hotel - The Rasmus if Lauri was a girl.

Metro Station - TAKE OFF THE RED PANTS!!!! "Shake It" it is a fun song, but the only redeeming factor is that one of the singers is Miley Cyrus' brother.

Tyga - Nice tattoos. You put the lime in the coconut? Got it. Then straight whiskey????

Back to MTV. Brendan Fraser showed up on set to promote Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D and that raskly reporter threw in a G.I.Joe question. Good girl, I think I love you.

Vern Troyer Sex Tape. Yes, I said it.

2008-06-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

FINALLY Vern Troyer has a sex tape with an awkward Frida Kahlo looking hooker. It might be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Will I watch it when it's released? Yes...yes of course.

Click the picture for a link to the glorious TMZ to watch the clip. You can't go back. Just a warning.

No doubt in my mind he's going to eat that girl. No pun intended, he's clearly an Ugnaut. In related news, who knew that Vern Troyer has the worlds smallest tattoos ever created.??

Now, AXB Enterprises presents the Top Ten sexually implicit Vern Troyer movie quotes.

10. "Doing stunt work is risky, but it's something I enjoy."

9. "We were doing the dance routine and I dislocated my knee."

8. "I think it was a good challenge for me to get my reactions across without being able to speak."

7. "I've done approximately 15 films, and most of the things I've done have either been stunt or costume work."

6. "There aren't too many people who can actually double me, so I do most of my stunts ..."

5. "What I really enjoy the most is seeing what the crowd likes. I enjoy making people laugh."

4. "It's a movie. It's entertainment. If other little people feel like they're being offended, it doesn't offend me, so just take it as it is."

3. "In the film, I'm not very mobile, like in the space suit."

2. "I've played a baby panda bear to a gorilla to an alien..."

1. "In high school and college all my friends and my brother wrestled."

An Oedipal tale from Rob Zombie

2008-06-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

Tyrannosaurus Rex - 51% Motherfucker, 49% Son of a Bitch. Now, I'm not sure where this is actually legal, but perhaps an incestual ass kicker will test good in the Catskills. Why go across the street when you can go across the hall???

Awesome.

Unfortunately it does not contain Werewolves, Nazis, or Nicholas Cage.....yet.

Image and story from ShockTilYouDrop

Fast & Furious: 4Play

2008-06-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

The 2009 film based in the Fast and the Furious franchise, tentatively entitled "Fast and Furious", has been under speculation and rumor for a long time. Is Vin Diesel in it? Is Paul Walker breaking away from some other Asstastic role to return? Will Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster be topless together in a shower scene?

At least 2 of these questions are a resounding yes. Hopefully the 3rd will make it to the DVD.

Set between 2 Fast 2 Furious and Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift the story just might explain the origin of Vin with Han, might make Paul Walker reflect on himself and his past, or it just might contain lots of driving and stopping, and then subsequently driving again. Dialogue inserted for dramatic effect.

Ha!

2008-06-24T09:19:00.001-07:00

A new poster has surfaced from the Dark Knight people. Despite growing weary of the Vote for Harvey Dent viral, I do enjoy some good Joker action.

I am pleased that they aren't trying to downplay Heath Ledger's role. Yes the man is no longer with us, but let this be his swan song.

2008-06-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Film1.nl has posted 2 more pictures of the new G.I.Joe posters featuring "Rise of Cobra".

What? No love for Ripcord this time around????? Personally, "Cobra - The Enemy" would have been bad ass.

G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra???

2008-06-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

A new Teaser Poster from the Cinema EXPO in Amsterdam shows what COULD be the title of the G.I.Joe live action film. Perhaps it's just a foreign translation gone bad? We shall see at JoeCon 2008 won't we? If not there we can wait for San Diego.

Thanks to HissTank for the heads up

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits, and Death

2008-06-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

The 7 Deadly Words. Don't speak, don't write, don't publish. In honor of George Carlin I will write these words once, and once only on this site.

George Carlin died of heart failure Sunday June 23 at 71. George, you will be missed.

George Carlin 1937 – 2008

"In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See?" Religion is Bullshit - George Carlin, 1978